I now have 41 interviews completed for my book. Each is wonderful and inspiring. But the book? Well, that’s another story. It’s hiding and laughing at me. Each interview tells a wonderful story. I know that they all fit together in some incredible way. I know that there are messages here just waiting to be shared with the world. This particular Sunday, though, I just don’t know how.
And I’m feeling the pressure to have answers. And content. Immediately.
The sun is shining. I want to turn off my computer and go out to play. I tell myself that if I can just write for an hour or so I can go out. But wait – the house needs cleaning. Clothes need to get put away. Files need organizing. It’s time to rotate winter clothes away. There’s dust!
I wish I hadn’t had that second cup of coffee. My hands are shaking. Caffeine or fear? Both? It’s cold out. Sitting by the Bay is really not an option. But it still might be nice.
I know that if I can still my rambling mind, inspiration will come. How to get there, though? I think about V–, who has written many books, or the prolific S–. did they have Blocked Sundays? What did they do?
I come back to the two cards I pulled this morning. One was Consciousness. The message was that today I have the blessing of emptiness and that I ought not be trying so hard to fill it with clutter. The other was Sarasvati, Godess of Creativity. She urges me to dance. so, perhaps, with the 11 already-transcribed interviews as my companions, I shall head out into the Sunday sunshine. I will find a spot out of the direct sunlight (sorry iPad, but you do have some shortcomings) and some herbal tea.
I will hold fast to the notion that being blocked simply means that the ideas are mulling around in my head, not yet ready to be born, but nonetheless powerfully present. I will come back refreshed. And if inspiration strikes while I’m out, well, there’s always the wonderful voice feature.
I remember a friend whose pregnancy seemed to last forever. That baby just wasn’t ready to face the world until she was ready. At 40 – yes, she did finally emerge – she’s a pretty incredible woman. My cousin’s son, less than a year ago, was in no hurry either. And he’s already gorgeous and unstoppable. My book, too, will emerge when it’s ready. And it, too, will be unstoppable and incredible.
Off to the Bay.